Financial Tune-Up: a Personal Take on Saving

By Mitch Stutzman

Any conversation around money will inevitably include some talk about saving for the future. Whether that conversation is couched in terms of emergency savings, college savings, saving for a large purchase like a car or home, or retirement savings, the topic gets a lot of attention when a person considers their overall financial situation.

As I have thought about my own financial journey, and particularly about how saving has impacted my financial life, I have thought about times when my savings has become particularly meaningful. Times when my savings became more than just numbers floating in cyberspace that represent a determined value that our society has placed on them.

I found myself standing at the counter at my local auto repair shop. I had taken my vehicle in to be serviced and for a trained eye to give it a once-over and make sure everything was ready to go for a long trip that I was about to embark on. Things had been running well and I had no particular concerns but just wanted a seal of approval from someone smarter than me.

After my mechanic took a look at everything he told me that a there was some things he would recommend as a safety measure before taking this vehicle on a cross country trip. I trust my mechanic and believed that he had no intentions of selling me something I didn’t need. I said I would go ahead and have him do the work that was necessary. He informed me that with the additional work my bill was going to come to $1,200 for that particular visit. Well, I had not planned for this visit to the shop costing quite that much; but I wrote a check for the repairs. Ouch, that smarts.

After the work had been completed, I picked up my vehicle and was driving home with my wife. We were talking with each other about the unforeseen expense. I remember saying, “Well, writing that check wasn’t fun. But isn’t it great that we can write that check?”

I had read that week in an article from Forbes that 63% of Americans do not have enough savings to cover a $500 emergency. I told my wife that even though I didn’t welcome a $1,200 expense, I was so glad that we set aside emergency savings to cover it.

There was a time in my life when that would not have been the case; a time in my life when if faced with a $1,200 repair bill I may have been tempted to just call it a loss, leave the car at the shop, and walk home and let my mechanic deal with how to dispose of the vehicle. But over the past several years I have developed strategies for saving that work for me and (I can’t even believe what I am about to say) make me excited about saving!

Saving all starts with identifying your cash flow: What is coming in and what is going out. When what is going out exceeds what is coming in, the rest of your financial life doesn’t seem to fall into place like it should. In the words of my mechanic, “There’s your problem, right there.”

Establishing a healthy cash flow plan is the first step in building your savings. I want to take a moment to simply recognize that a person’s expenses exceeding their income can be the result of many different factors. I also want to own and recognize that I have found myself in places of privilege throughout my life which has afforded me opportunities not available to some. But, regardless of status, the principle remains the same that to save you need to make sure expenses do not exceed your income.

Some expenses are unavoidable. Things like food, clothes, and shelter are basic needs that typically require some level of financial commitment.  However, when you step back and take a hard look at your spending, you may be surprised to find that there are some things that could be cut from your everyday spending. I heard it said once that people rarely get themselves into debt or money trouble from one $10,000 purchase, but rather one thousand $10 purchases.

The discipline to make more intentional choices takes practice. It is truly amazing how much money you can save by just waiting one more day to make your decision instead of making your purchase right away.  Instead of buying that cute novelty coffee mug that you saw online, wait one day and see if your life is empty without it. I would venture to guess that many of our “impulse buys” are things that we can probably do without.

So, give yourself a financial tune up and consider what it is that brings you satisfaction. In my experience, peace of mind provides a level of satisfaction that stuff doesn’t. The knowledge that if an unexpected expense reveals itself I can cover it helps me sleep better at night. Take a hard look at your spending and saving habits and make the changes you must to position yourself in way that you can live comfortably and give generously to the causes and organizations you love most.

About the Author

Mitch Stutzman is a Stewardship Consultant for Everence.

This blog is a component of the Ecumenical Stewardship Center’s COMPASS Initiative to engage young adults in conversations about faith and finances. Like what you see and want to know/do more? Visit the COMPASS blog, follow us on Twitter, and join the COMPASS community on Facebook.

Money autobiography

By Matt DeBall

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Crossovers always have the potential to be energizing and enjoyable. Sometimes they happen on our favorite TV show or in a beloved movie series (special shout out to fellow fans of DC Comics or Marvel). Other times they happen in real life. For your edification, a crossover is happening on the COMPASS blog this week.

This month COMPASS has focused on our relationship with money and invited us to explore this relationship by writing a money autobiography. Marcia Shetler began unpacking this helpful tool and Beryl Jantzi helped us consider four categories that reveal our approach to money, debt management, and generosity. What follows in this blog are a handful of questions and answers related to my money autobiography (that can also help you write your own). A wonderful CROSSOVER has occurred because I didn’t answer these questions alone.

In February, COMPASS explored how essential it is to talk about money with loved ones, live-chat-wedding-rings-image-copyand Rafael Robert from Brightpeak Financial led a great Live Chat about money, marriage, and meaningful conversations. Connecting those conversations with our topic for this month, my lovely wife, Chelsea, has joined me in answering the money autobiography questions below. We answered these questions individually and talked about our answers afterward. While we have different relationships with money, it is our relationship with money together that shapes how we manage our finances. This money autobiography process proved to be meaningful for us, but also allows you to hear two different relationships with money that contribute to our money autobiography. We hope you will find this blog to be as meaningful and helpful as we did.

Question: Describe the role of money in your childhood. What was your attitude toward money as a child? Did you feel poor or rich? How did your perceptions make you feel?

Chelsea: Growing up, my parents didn’t have a lot in terms of money. But they never let us know or feel that strain. It wasn’t until we were older that we realized that we were somewhat poor for a lot of our childhood.

Matt: Money served different functions in my childhood. It paid for food at the grocery store. It was the two quarters that my parents gave me each week to put in the offering plate. It was how people supported my Boy Scout troop through buying popcorn. Money was just around. I didn’t feel like my family was rich or poor—just average. My parents taught us to be thankful for what we had and they didn’t talk much about money in front of us.

Q: What was your attitude about money as a teenager? What memories do you have related to money?

C: As a teenager I was obsessed with making money. I had two jobs through most of high dollar-1362243_1280school. I loved having my own money to spend on what I wanted.

M: Money was a means to have fun. It allowed me to buy snacks and games, and participate in activities with friends.

Q: In your current situation, how have other sources shaped your thoughts about money?

C: Nothing has really shaped my thoughts about money. I appreciate it more now that I am an adult with actual expenses to pay for.

M: Society at large and media has influenced me to see some debts as good (homes, college degrees) and other debts as bad (credit card). The church has helped me see money as a tool that God gives us to meet our needs and to carry out His purposes in the world.

Q: How do you feel about your present financial status? Do you worry about money? How does having or not having money affect self-esteem or sense of self-worth?

C: I do worry about money. Mostly because there are things I’d like to be able to buy (a new car) or do (remodel our home) but our financial status keeps us from doing that. Not having as much money as some of my peers does affect my self-esteem. I do find myself getting jealous of those who can buy nice houses, go on vacation, or stay home with their children instead of having to work.

M: I feel proactive and content about our current financial situation. I very rarely worry about money (only when large bills are paid right before a payday). Though I wouldn’t consider it a large factor in my self-esteem or self-worth, our money providing for our needs does have a positive effect on me.

Q: Do you spend money on yourself easily or with difficulty?coffee-1273147_1280

C: I used to be able to spend money on myself with no problems. But recent life events
have made me think more before I make a purchase for myself.

M: Somewhat easily for things under $10 (coffee, lunch, a book), but hesitantly for anything else.

Q: Do you feel generous or stingy with your money?

C: I am generous in terms of gift giving, but I know I am stingy with money. I would hesitate greatly before loaning someone money.

M: It depends on the day, but I typically feel more generous.

Q: Do you give to your church or other charitable organizations? Why do/don’t you give? How does this make you feel?

C: Yes, we give to our church. At first I was very reluctant to do so because I didn’t want to give away our money. But now I am more comfortable with donating to our church.

M: Yes. I like to give because it is an opportunity to show love to God and support God’s important work in the world. Giving makes me feel happy and like I am being faithful to God’s call to give.

Q: How do you feel about asking other people for money…for yourself, a worthy cause, your church community, etc.?gift-1278395_1280

C: I am very hesitant asking people for money. I never want anyone to feel obligated to
give to me based on our relationship and I wouldn’t want my asking for money to affect our relationship.

M: It would make me uncomfortable to ask for money for myself. For my work, I am a fundraiser, and because I believe in the ministries of our organization, I am comfortable with asking people to support them.

Q: Consider the following idea: how you handle money reflects your deepest values. Do you agree or disagree? Why?

C: I agree. What we spend our money on may reflect what we care about the most or what we consider a priority in our lives.

M: Agree because of Matthew 6:21, “where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” When we spend money on anything, it reveals what is important to us.

Q: What future hopes or plans do you have with money?

C: I hope that we are able to continually support ourselves financially. Being independent financially is a great feeling.

M: I hope we can plan to pay off our debts, save for retirement, increase our savings for unexpected emergency circumstances, and increase our giving to church as we are able. I also plan to open savings accounts for our kids early in their lives to prepare for their needs and aspirations in the future.

In addition to answering these questions for your own money autobiography, you can learn more about this helpful tool on Tuesday, May 30 at 8 p.m. ET at our next Live Chat “Your relationship with money” led by Mike Little, director for the Faith and Money Network. Sign up while spots are still available at marcia_5.gr8.com.

About the Authors

C&MDeBall-9-15Chelsea and Matt DeBall live in northern Illinois. Chelsea works as office coordinator for a Special Recreation Association, and is pursuing a Master’s of Mental Health Counseling from Judson University. Matt serves as the COMPASS communications coordinator for the Ecumenical Stewardship Center and as coordinator of Donor Communications for the Church of the Brethren. He has an MDiv from Northern Seminary. They enjoy caring for their Welsh Corgi (Watson) and being involved at the First Baptist Church of Aurora.

Photo credits: pixabay.com

Money, marriage, and faith

By Matt DeBall

When my wife, Chelsea, and I were preparing two-2042416_1280-copyfor marriage, our church asked us to
participate in a pre-marriage counseling course. This included meeting with a more experienced married couple who could mentor us. Many topics were discussed through seven learning sessions and four or more mentor meetings, but conversations that I remember most now were about managing money together. In particular, Chelsea and I learned about how each of us view money, and our mentors shared that the earlier we started to save money for the future, the better.

Because of how values, memories, and emotions surround money, it’s no wonder that managing money in marriage is important to get right—to care for one another and plan your lives together. Thankfully scripture offers at least three helpful insights for handling money together as a couple.

1. “For where your treasure is, there you heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21, NIV).
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These words of Jesus are important when considering offerings to the church, but are also relevant for personal finance. Do you or your partner enjoy reading books or magazines? These are likely to be included in your expenses. Do either of you enjoy biking, camping, fishing, or skiing? How about baking, painting, sewing, or woodworking? Money will surely be spent on items to carry out these interests. As a couple plans their financial present and future together, it is important to budget and plan for life-giving hobbies together. Talking regularly about money and special interests allows each person to feel loved and appreciated—both for being able to participate in desired activities and feeling respected by knowing about special purchases.

 2. Whoever loves money never has enough;… This too is meaningless” (Ecclesiastes 5:10). There’s no doubt that money is essential in life, but it isn’t most important. Though conversations and planning may difficult for a couple that has one partner who is primarily a “saver” while the other is primarily a “spender,” at the end of the day, your love for one another will surpass your love for anything else, including money. Keeping your love for one another in focus while talking about money will help you work together and care for each other regardless of how much money is in your bank account.

couple-1838940_1280-copy3. “Be content with what you
have, 
because God has said,
‘Never will I leave you;
never
will I forsake you’”(Hebrews 13:5).
Finding contentment together and trusting God can improve any financial situation. Trusting God with your finances and regularly acknowledging that God provides for your family will help you keep money in the right focus.

Prayer is a good practice that reminds us to trust in God, especially when money is involved. You may consider praying the following prayer together before future money discussions:

Loving and generous God,
Thank you for all that we have. We are grateful that you have met all of our needs and continue to provide for us. Please bless this conversation about money and help us to be good stewards of what you have given us—for our good and your glory.
In the name of Jesus we pray, Amen.

What scriptures help you manage personal finances?

About the Author

m-deball-9-2016Matt DeBall is the COMPASS Communications Coordinator for the Ecumenical Stewardship Center. He also serves as Coordinator of Donor Communications for the Church of the Brethren. He has an MDiv from Northern Seminary of Lombard, Illinois and a BA in Communication Arts from Judson University of Elgin, Illinois. He loves running, reading, and napping. He and Chelsea live in Northern Illinois with their Welsh Corgi, Watson, and attend the First Baptist Church of Aurora.

This blog is a component of the Ecumenical Stewardship Center’s COMPASS initiative to engage young adults in conversations about faith and finances. Like what you’ve read? Visit the COMPASS web page, follow us on Twitter, and join the COMPASS community on Facebook.

Image credits: pixabay.com

Money, Marriage, and Meaningful Conversations

By Belinda Bassene

FriendshipLife is busy. Calendars fill up fast.
To-Do lists are created. In the midst of the chaos, conversations with our spouses are happening….

When are we going to do the laundry?

Should we get a dog? What kind?

Are we ready to buy a house?

I don’t feel like making dinner; shall we get take-out?

As these exchanges are happening, we may find ourselves desiring more when it comes to our conversations. It truly is difficult to pause for meaningful chats, let alone around topics that are hard to talk about. Especially money.

If you find yourself having a hard time talking about money, you are not alone. According to studies, almost 70% of couples argue about money.

Let’s beat that statistic and create a new normal: one where 70% of couples are confident when having meaningful conversations about money.

Here are 5 tips to get you started:

1. Don’t Avoid Itlm_blog_3-things-to-do-when-saving-money

This seems like common sense. However, Lab42 conducted an online survey of 1,000 people in October of 2015 and discovered 77% of Americans actually avoid talking about money. And according to our Love & Money Project partner, Dr. Sonya Britt of Kansas State University, the risk of divorce for those who disagree about money frequently, increases by almost 70%. So, if we know money has the power to break-up marriages, let’s not avoid talking about it! Take a step towards financial strength and a happier marriage by beginning the conversation about money.

But where do we start?

lm_blog_5-ways-to-prevent-the-biggest-money-mistakes2. Ask Questions

It is easy to assume that we know so much about the person we are spending the rest of our lives with. Yet, as we work with couples we see that many have no idea what each other thinks about money. They don’t know their story. Here are a few questions to explore this topic together:

What do you believe to be true about money?

  • Whether they are actually true or not, we all have beliefs about money. These ideas were created before we even realized and we carry them with us through our entire life. Examine together how these beliefs play out in each of your lives individually, as well as in your relationship.

What is your earliest memory of money?thinking-277071_1280

  • Pause to learn this about one another, and reflect on how it plays out in your own life.
    You’ll be surprised to see how it continues to show up in your life.

How do you feel about money?

  • Take time to share what makes you feel confident or anxious. Share what creates a sense of freedom when it comes to money. As you reflect on this, you may find that you have more feelings about money than you ever realized.

3. Use “Yes, and…”

Implement a common communication and improv comedy rule by using the words “yes, and.” When we use “yes, and” instead of “yes, but,” we naturally begin to build solutions and possibilities together instead of tearing one another down. Try this tip out in your next conversation. You’ll be amazed where the dialogue can go!

4. Schedule Time to Talklm_blog_how-to-nurture-your-spouses-love-styles-and-money-styles_final

This will assist in not avoiding the conversation. We’ve already talked about how full our calendars can be, so hold a spot to make meaningful conversations a priority. You may want to check in quarterly, every month, or even every other week. Find the best cadence for your life together.

5. Offer Generosity and Gratitude Every Day

At some point in your day, take a moment to identify what you are grateful for and how
you’ve experienced or offered generosity. This comes in especially helpful when you are feeling lm_blog_what-the-bible-says-and-doesnt-sayfrustrated and it can completely change your conversations because it changes your heart. Crazy, right?! Try it. I dare you.

Tackle the money talk in a meaningful way. You’ve got this. Check out more to strengthen your relationship in love and money at www.loveandmoney.com.

About the Author

Belinda Bassene is a part of The Love & Money Project, an initiative of brightpeak financial helping couples and families grow stronger together by improving their relationship with money. When she isn’t passionately talking about love and money you may find her kayaking or planning a party. She resides in Minneapolis with her family.

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Join us tonight at 8 p.m. ET for this month’s COMPASS Live Chat  led by staff from brightpeak financial. Join with the following link. stewardshipresources.adobeconnect.com/compasschat217

Photo credits: loveandmoney.com, pixabay.com

Money, Marriage, and Millennials: Significant Relationships, Important Roles, Meaningful Conversations

rose-1215314_1280By Marcia Shetler

Ah, February! The shortest month of the year. The time when we begin to believe that spring might be right around the corner. And when there is a day designated to celebrate and appreciate the significant others in our lives.

How couples view and manage money has an impact on the health of their relationships. Conventional wisdom says that a quick way to squelch a happy occasion with your partner is to raise the subject of money. However, recent reports and studies indicate that may be changing. A 2016 survey by Ameriprise Financial found that 77% of couples are in basic agreement about their finances. And there’s even better news for Millennial couples: a 2016 Chase Bank Generational Money Talks Study shows that they are much more comfortable having conversations about money, thanks to more openness of their Boomer parents to discuss money with their children as opposed to earlier generations.

The Chase study also indicates that Millennials understand the important role money plays in their lives. It reports that 78% of Millennials follow a budget, 77% say that they adult-1807617_1280-copyhave confidence to make complex financial decisions, and 64% are optimistic about their financial future. Timothy Siburg, who is a Millennial, a member of the COMPASS Steering Committee, and a frequent contributor to this blog, has shared examples of how he and his wife Allison personify these statistics. They make regular, meaningful conversations about money a priority, such as their monthly pancake breakfasts to discuss their finances.

So Millennials, give yourselves a collective fist bump, high five, or pat on the back. This month, the COMPASS Initiative will give you more ideas and great content to make those important money conversations even better. Each week new articles here on the COMPASS blog will provide practical ideas, personal reflections, and spiritual insights. Follow our Twitter feed and join us on Facebook all month long for great curated content. And view our resources on the COMPASS web page for even more help and guidance. Add your questions and comments to make for an even more enriching exchange of ideas!

live-chat-wedding-rings-image-copyFinally, you won’t want to miss this month’s COMPASS Live Chat on Monday, February 20, 8 p.m. Eastern, 7 p.m. Central, 6 p.m. Mountain, 5 p.m. Pacific. Staff from brightpeak financial will share some great ideas for making your money conversations even more meaningful. Just connect to the Chat on February 20 with this link: stewardshipresources.adobeconnect.com/compasschat217

Stewarding our God-given relationships and resources is one of our most essential responsibilities as followers of Jesus. The COMPASS Steering Committee and I look forward to engaging with you as we meet each other on Facebook, Twitter, and at our Live Chat!

About the Author

marcia shetlerMarcia Shetler is Executive Director/CEO of the Ecumenical Stewardship Center. She holds an MA in philanthropy and development from St. Mary’s University of Minnesota, a BS in business administration from Indiana Wesleyan University, and a Bible certificate from Eastern Mennonite University. She formerly served as administrative staff in two middle judicatories of the Church of the Brethren, and as director of communications and public relations for Bethany Theological Seminary in Richmond, Indiana, an administrative faculty position. Marcia’s vocational, spiritual, and family experiences have shaped her vision and passion for faithful stewardship ministry that recognizes and celebrates the diversity of Christ’s church and the common call to all disciples to the sacred practice of stewardship. She enjoys connecting, inspiring, and equipping Christian steward leaders to transform church communities.

This blog is a component of the Ecumenical Stewardship Center’s COMPASS Initiative to engage young adults in conversations about faith and finances. Like what you see and want to know/do more? Visit the COMPASS web page, follow us on Twitter, and join the COMPASS community on Facebook.

Image credits: pixabay.com

Keeping Your College Years Affordable- At Least 7 Ideas (PART 1)

By Timothy Siburg

We all know that going to college or graduate school can be expensive. Marcia and Ryan covered that well earlier this month, in fact. I am happy to say that there are ways to keep your college years affordable that worked for me and might work for you.

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“The Great Wall of Cup of Noodles” beginning to form in the spring of my first year in college. By the end of the semester, the entire left hand side of the window would be full of the Cup of Noodles from top to bottom.

During my first year of college, my roommate found a way to save on some food costs by stocking up on cup of noodles soups. He loved them so much, as the year went on, he even built a wall of cup of noodles to help block out the sun near his desk. This was humorous to me for several reasons, but especially because our room’s window was shaded well by a big tree outside it, and given that we were at a college in western Washington state, overly sunny non-cloudy days were not common experiences.

I must confess that I got through college affordably thanks to great scholarship support, and my parents’ help paying for school. I am grateful for that, and in the years since college, have worked to give back financially (and in other ways) as possible to help other students afford the great education that I believe I received. I view that as part of my faithful response, and a way to steward what I have been entrusted with by God.

Even with the great scholarships I received, I discovered at least seven helpful ways to make college even more affordable.

Walking

In college and especially grad school, I put an emphasis on walking. Instead of driving to the palley-1840264_1280harmacy or grocery store a half mile off campus, if it wasn’t raining I loved to walk. This obviously helps save a little on the car costs, but it is also good exercise, good physical stewardship. In grad school, I didn’t have much of a choice, as I went carless in Claremont, California. Thus, I walked to Trader Joe’s a few blocks away for groceries, and even to church, 1.8 miles each way. Of course, you can’t beat Southern California weather, so that was enjoyable. When needing bigger things, like a Costco run, it helped to have friends with cars though.

Friends, Family, and Parents

Speaking of friends, it certainly helps to have friends, family, and especially parents who visit or are nearby. For me, this meant a free place to do laundry whether at my parents’ or grandma’s home while in college. It also meant, good home cooking, which you start to miss while at college. It’s never a bad thing either to have your loved ones come and treat you for a lovely lunch or dinner off campus too. I am grateful I had all of this (and so much more support) when I was in school.

Textbooks

One of the most expensive parts of college can books-1943625_1280be textbooks. In some fields, new editions are printed seemingly every year, and because of that, prices can seem astronomical. Often, you can get by with a slightly older edition, saving you some money. In other cases, using a website like half.com, or a used book site can be helpful. Better yet, if you have friends who have recently taken the class requiring your book(s), perhaps you can borrow it from them, or even trade textbooks as needed? In seminary, when my wife and I found ourselves in the same class, we tried often to only purchase one copy of the required books to share. This worked some times, but we also like to take notes in our books, so other times, we had to breakdown and purchase a copy for each of us.

Here are a few ideas to keep your college years affordable. Come back next week for more.

About the Author

timothy headshotTimothy Siburg is the Director for Stewardship of the Nebraska Synod of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA), a Deacon in the ELCA, and is a member of the COMPASS Steering Committee. His wife Allison serves as an ELCA pastor, and together with their cat Buddy, they reside in the greater Omaha area. Timothy attended college at Pacific Lutheran University, and graduate school at the Claremont Graduate University and Luther Seminary. Timothy can also be found on TwitterFacebook, and on his blog.

Image credits: Timothy Siburg, pixabay.com

Seeking a path with your partner

By Dori Zerbe Cornelsen

This summer my spouse and I did a long road trip from our home on the prairies of Canada through the Rockies and into south-eastern British Columbia that has a wealth of provincial parks to explore. We were thrilled to find the Jewel Lake Provincial Park tucked into a valley between mountains. The campground was rustic but the lake and surroundings were amazing.

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Jewel Lake Provincial Park

We took our bikes along the winding road from the campground to the resort at the other end of the lake. Well, resort may be a strong word for those who imagine all-inclusives in tropical destinations. The Jewel Lake Resort has some campground sites with RV hook-ups, some cabins for rent (including rustic hunter cabins) and offers watercraft rentals (no motors allowed!).

At the resort, we met the owner (who happens to be a retired NHL player – which we only found out later to my husband’s chagrin) who told us some of the history of the lake that at one time was home to a boom town during the early 1900’s. “You need to do some hiking to see some of the old mineshafts,” he told us. He gave us instructions to follow a logging road from

20160807_132730-dori-z-mineshaft

Mineshaft at Jewel Lake Provincial Park

the resort, up the mountain to a closed shaft. “And there’s another one closer to the campground where you’re staying,” he said. “The trailhead is pretty obvious from the road just at the entrance to the provincial park.”

We did the hike from the resort and enjoyed spectacular views of the lake and did indeed find an old boarded up mineshaft from which we could feel very cold air blowing out cooling us from the hot day. Having explored the first mine, we decided to find our way up to the open shaft on the other side of the valley.

Well, we thought we found the trailhead – there was a small opening where you could tell people or at least animals had traversed in the recent past. But a little way up, we found ourselves thrashing through the forest, not knowing which way the trail went next. My partner thought we could keep going – we weren’t going to get lost, really, because all we needed to do was go down the hill to find the road. But I was leery of continuing and finally talked us into going back to the road. We were disappointed but decided to go a little further up the road and there with a ribbon and a wider entrance, we found a wide, easy to follow trail. It was a short hop up to the mineshaft entrance.

Sometimes when we are learning together about money with partners in life, we don’t find a rhythm right away in terms of the trail we want to take together. There may be obstacles, even emotional blocks, to one way of doing a plan together and it might feel like thrashing through the forest and getting annoyed with one another.

It could be that there isn’t only one right way to make a budget or a money plan together. One of us may need to suggest going back to the road to find another way to get to our destination. That’s okay. What we need to do when we work with a partner, is to be open to listening to each other, remember that we have potentially come from homes where money was dealt with differently and so finding a way together might take some time. Conversation about money is worth it – the views when we work well together can be spectacular. So, keep trying to find what works best for you!

About the Author

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Dori Zerbe Cornelsen is a Gift Planning Consultant with Abundance Canada, encouraging and inviting generous living.  She and her husband Rick live in Winnipeg, Manitoba, where lots of generous, warm people live in cold temperatures for 6 months of the year.

Image credit: Dori Zerbe Cornelsen