Money, marriage, and faith

By Matt DeBall

When my wife, Chelsea, and I were preparing two-2042416_1280-copyfor marriage, our church asked us to
participate in a pre-marriage counseling course. This included meeting with a more experienced married couple who could mentor us. Many topics were discussed through seven learning sessions and four or more mentor meetings, but conversations that I remember most now were about managing money together. In particular, Chelsea and I learned about how each of us view money, and our mentors shared that the earlier we started to save money for the future, the better.

Because of how values, memories, and emotions surround money, it’s no wonder that managing money in marriage is important to get right—to care for one another and plan your lives together. Thankfully scripture offers at least three helpful insights for handling money together as a couple.

1. “For where your treasure is, there you heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21, NIV).
These words of Jesus are important when considering offerings to the church, but are also relevant for personal finance. Do you or your partner enjoy reading books or magazines? These are likely to be included in your expenses. Do either of you enjoy biking, camping, fishing, or skiing? How about baking, painting, sewing, or woodworking? Money will surely be spent on items to carry out these interests. As a couple plans their financial present and future together, it is important to budget and plan for life-giving hobbies together. Talking regularly about money and special interests allows each person to feel loved and appreciated—both for being able to participate in desired activities and feeling respected by knowing about special purchases.

 2. Whoever loves money never has enough;… This too is meaningless” (Ecclesiastes 5:10). There’s no doubt that money is essential in life, but it isn’t most important. Though conversations and planning may difficult for a couple that has one partner who is primarily a “saver” while the other is primarily a “spender,” at the end of the day, your love for one another will surpass your love for anything else, including money. Keeping your love for one another in focus while talking about money will help you work together and care for each other regardless of how much money is in your bank account.

couple-1838940_1280-copy3. “Be content with what you
because God has said,
‘Never will I leave you;
will I forsake you’”(Hebrews 13:5).
Finding contentment together and trusting God can improve any financial situation. Trusting God with your finances and regularly acknowledging that God provides for your family will help you keep money in the right focus.

Prayer is a good practice that reminds us to trust in God, especially when money is involved. You may consider praying the following prayer together before future money discussions:

Loving and generous God,
Thank you for all that we have. We are grateful that you have met all of our needs and continue to provide for us. Please bless this conversation about money and help us to be good stewards of what you have given us—for our good and your glory.
In the name of Jesus we pray, Amen.

What scriptures help you manage personal finances?

About the Author

m-deball-9-2016Matt DeBall is the COMPASS Communications Coordinator for the Ecumenical Stewardship Center. He also serves as Coordinator of Donor Communications for the Church of the Brethren. He has an MDiv from Northern Seminary of Lombard, Illinois and a BA in Communication Arts from Judson University of Elgin, Illinois. He loves running, reading, and napping. He and Chelsea live in Northern Illinois with their Welsh Corgi, Watson, and attend the First Baptist Church of Aurora.

This blog is a component of the Ecumenical Stewardship Center’s COMPASS initiative to engage young adults in conversations about faith and finances. Like what you’ve read? Visit the COMPASS web page, follow us on Twitter, and join the COMPASS community on Facebook.

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Talking About Faith and Finances: Pursue Contentment

During September, the COMPASS blog is digging deeper into the topic of conversations about money by sharing different perspectives, questions, and approaches. Today we welcome Dori Zerbe Cornelsen, from the Mennonite Foundation of Canada, back to the blog. Join Dori in thinking about contentment. As Dori mentions, First Things First and many other resources on the COMPASS website help pursue living with a deeper sense of contentment. See what you think and please join the conversation on Facebook or here on the blog by leaving a comment.

10 Million

“Which would you rather have – 10 kids or $10 Million?”

“Which would you rather have – 10 kids or $10 Million?” 

During a presentation I once asked the group, “Who comes to mind when you think of the word contentment?” Someone said his grandfather used to ask this question. Without much hesitation, I said, “I’d choose the $10M.”

“Wrong answer,” the person said.  “Because if you have $10M you are never completely sure you have enough but if you have 10 kids… you know you have enough!”

Contentment probably does have something to do with having enough.  In studies that test the link between money and happiness, one consistent observation is that the association of happiness-to-money plateaus when people have enough money to meet basic needs, have good health care and safety, etc. – any increase in money above this level does not predict the same increase in happiness.

We live in a culture that promotes being discontent.  Spending on advertising in North America is projected to be more than $200B in 2015 all to remind us that we should be dissatisfied.

So, can we be content?  Way before people did studies on money and happiness, Paul wrote a letter to Timothy in our Bible that includes pretty much the same observation:

“For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.” (1 Timothy 6:7-8).

Paul goes on to warn Timothy that unchecked dissatisfaction can lead to pretty grim consequences.

I mentioned the study guide, First Things First in my last blog.  “Contentment is a choice,” writes Edwin Friesen:

“True contentment frees us to enjoy our gifts in the present.  To be content does not mean that we don’t work for better tomorrows or plan for the future.  It does mean that we do not let our dreams and concerns about tomorrow rob us of fully enjoying the gifts we have today.” (p. 35)

How are you choosing contentment?

dori-zerbe-cornelson-220x220About the Author: Dori Zerbe Cornelsen works with Mennonite Foundation of Canada encouraging and inviting generous living.  She and her husband Rick live in Winnipeg, Manitoba.



Image Credit: Money

This blog is a component of the Ecumenical Stewardship Center’s COMPASS initiative to engage young adults in conversations about faith and finances. Like what you see and want to know/do more? Visit the COMPASS web page and join the COMPASS community on Facebook.